churchy stuff

i thought i missed this place, but then i went to church yesterday.

okay, just kidding. sort of. let me explain...

i decided to go to my old ward, turns out it was stake conference yesterday. so there i sat, in the back of the dark gym of the enormous stake center, looking around at the thousands of single young adults and the beauty contest taking place before my eyes, and i remembered the sick feeling that i would get after leaving church sometimes. it's a feeling i can't explain any other way than feeling like the mentality surrounding my experience at church was more about looking good and getting asked out than on what church is really supposed to be about. i'm not saying that it was always this way, but definitely a lot of the time. i longed for my ward in boston...

once i was able to focus i found the meeting to be very valuable. all of the speakers were very good, especially the last two which were Elder Bednar and President Faust. Elder Bednar related a story of a friend he knew that wanted to buy a 4x4 truck. his wife didn't want him to purchase the truck, but he did anyway. then, wanting to prove its usefulness, he drove it up into the mountains to cut wood. he drove deeper and deeper into the forest and subsequently got stuck in the snow. as he sat there wondering if he would freeze to death he decided to get to work. he cut wood and piled it in the back of his truck. when he had filled the bed of the truck with as much wood as he could he decided to try once more to get out of the snow. he started up his truck and put it into gear, and began to go. the weight of the wood had provided the traction he needed to move ahead. after finishing the story Elder Bednar said, "Most people think that happiness is the absence of a load. But happiness is not the absence of a load, but rather, having the right load to help you move ahead." he went on to talk about the importance of making our load in life in accordance with the gospel and to make sure that we are continually filling our lives with the things necessary to get through this life. even though he didn't mention this, another thing that i found interesting is that the man didn't wait there to be saved, or to die, or anything. he got to work. even though he didn't necessarily know the outcome, he got out there and did what he had set out to do. i don't want to be the type of person to sit around and wait for things to happen for me...i want to get out there and do what i came to do.

i love when President Faust speaks because it always seems like it is coming straight from his heart. he really believes what he is saying and he speaks plainly and straight forward. his talk was about "believing blood and black sheep". believing blood referring to where the faith in the gospel came from in our lives, whether we are the first to believe or whether we come from a long line of believers it is the same and equally important to our heavenly father. then he spoke about the black sheep of our families. the ones who have lost their way. he posed the question, "what can we do about these black sheep?" then he answered by saying that all we can do is continue to be faithful, take advantage of the blessings and ordinances we have in our lives, and that we can also depend upon the sealing ordinance which guarantees that the family will be preserved for eternity. i am very grateful to be in a family with faithful parents who did the right thing and were married and sealed in the temple and to know that i will be with my family, who i love more than anything else in the world, forever.

this has been a good trip for me.

i miss my friends.

goodnight.