ohio take 2

today as we were walking out to the car my dad said to me, "did you just get off the ship?" then laughed because apparently it was a joke. nobody else laughed because nobody else got it. as he turned around to get his keys, my mom mouthed to me, "what the hell did that mean?"

come to find out, he was referring to my puffy coat. can anyone name the movie?

ohio take 1

today my mom and i were cruising through the neighborhood in her bmw z3. she breezed through a stop sign and when i turned to her with an incredulous look on my face she responded innocently, "what? they're just guidelines."

children- use caution.

i'm leaving, on a jet plane...

dear blogger,

today i woke up, took the day off work, bought a one way plane ticket to columbus departing this evening, shared a chicken bake, hot dog, and churro with marie at costco, got on a plane and flew away.

somehow my bags, along with my mind, were left somewhere else because i don't see either of them around here.

love,

me

speaking of...

the best part of this trip has been the mornings. i wake up at around 7:30 and as i stumble out of bed and out to the living room my one year old nephew comes running up to me with a smile on his face. i pick him up and go sit on the couch by the fire and he lays his head down on my shoulder and just cuddles with me for about 10 minutes. then he slithers off my lap and off he goes...

speaking of slithering...i got a rental car for the first part of my trip. when i arrived at 1 am in salt lake i was tired and cranky and took what they gave me. later that day i discovered that the car hadn't been cleaned prior to my departure so i made the trek back out to the airport to exchange and get them to credit me for that day. of course, there was no manager on duty who had the authority to do such a thing, so i had to call back during the day sometime to talk to someone, blah, blah, blah. there are few things in life that bother me more than dis empowered employees...

speaking of employees...i hung out with my favorites, scott and drew, the other night (who aren't employees at all, but friends). we talked soccer and music mostly. it was awesome and i miss them terribly. they spent the night trying to convince me to move back, which isn't going to happen, but it's nice to be missed around here...

speaking of missing things, or rather not missing things... i went to church yesterday at my old ward. saw some familiar faces. confirmed that LP2 is sooooooooo much better...

speaking of faces...today i had to schedule an emergency dentist appointment because my vigorous flossing caused my permanent retainer on the bottom of my teeth to pop off (wow- i sound like such a nerd). anyway, they sanded the rest of the resin off my teeth. teeth sanding=painful=not fun. i have to go back tomorrow to get a new one put on...

speaking of painful...on my way back from the dentist i got pulled over. it's been 7 years, so i guess it's about time. luckily the cop was actually kind and just let me off with a warning. it probably didn't hurt that i gave him my digits and winked at him a lot. okay, that didn't actually happen. i was pulled over for expired registration and it wasn't my car...

speaking of cars... i paid one of mine off today, which is kind of a cool feeling. it was nice to walk into the bank with a few thousand dollars, and out of the bank with the title in hand. oh wait, it's not mine anymore... oh, that's right, i was able to pay it off because i sold it... well, whatever...

speaking of being paid...the other night my 6 year old nephew told me to tell my little brother that he wanted him to find a wife, and that he'd pay him to find a wife. i asked him if he wanted me to get married and he said no. i asked why, and he said (using his fingers as quotation marks) "that would be 'junk'!" i'm pretty sure he doesn't know what the quotation mark gesture means, and who knows what he meant by "junk". either way, i guess i won't be getting paid to get married...

speaking of getting married....CONGRATULATIONS MARIE AND PRESTON!!!!! i freaking love both of you so much!

speaking of love...

a brief update:

i'm still employed. a sincere thank you to everyone for your support and prayers... more details upon request.

tomorrow...

my stomach is in knots and i feel sick to the point where even my skin hurts. i'm totally nervous like i've never been nervous before.

pray for me please.

you are now free to move about the cabin

some things i learned yesterday:

• i'm incapable of packing for a trip any sooner than 2 hours in advance
• i actually DO like taco soup
• though i may have sung a particular song well over 100 times, i'll still forget the words when i'm nervous
• when a dunkin donuts cup says that the contents are "extremely hot" they actually mean it (goodbye taste buds- i'll miss thee)
• i love jet blue airlines
• i'm totally a window person
• it's possible that i come across as an unfriendly traveller. i don't like talking to people, so i usually stick in my headphones as soon as I get settled in, or bury my nose in a book. maybe i should work on that.
• benedryl and an eye mask work wonders. i'm usually out before the plane takes off and don't wake up until we land. it does make for a groggy drive home though...
• i hate dollar car rental (sorry girl with lime green eyeshadow working the desk at 1 am. i know it's not your fault that your company sucks and i didn't mean to take out my passive aggressive drugged rage on you. i hope the rest of your night was better...)
• seeing the confused, then excited looks on my nephews faces when i woke them up this morning was priceless. i love them.

come play for us...er...them

i love soccer.

i love REAL Salt Lake.

why, Beckham, why Galaxy?

okay, they're pretty good i guess...

long blog, blog long... a palendrome? not exactly.

let me tell you a little bit about how my day has been rollin'....

at exactly 10:38 am this morning my boss called me to tell me that our primary instructor had been recruited away from our company by no less than one of my customers. this represents a significant strain on my job, as he is the one who teaches 95% of the classes that i put on the schedule.

at 1:02 pm the president of the company called and left me a voice mail asking me to call him as soon as possible. i missed his call because i was on the way home from the airport where i had just dropped seth off to go to new jersey until who knows when.

1:33 pm i called the pres. he started our conversation by telling me that he had decided to make some changes in management and "let go" both of our company vice presidents (includes my boss), and that he gave them 2 weeks as of this morning. he went on to acknowledge that the responsibility for completely running our division now falls directly on my shoulders, and that with that he'd like me to sign an employment agreement for at least 6 months.

there were other details of which i can't write right now, but my job is about to get a lot more intense. i'm not even sure how i feel. i hate the idea of working there without my boss, who is my mentor and advocate, and the buffer between me and all that i hate about the company. on the other hand, this is an answer to my prayers. right now i just sort of want to cry.

i'll be flying out to utah next week to confirm the details and to strategize some changes for my division with the president, and mostly to say goodbye to my boss.

---------------------------------------------

okay, enough business. i've been meaning to write the following post for a few days and had i not been getting to bed around 3 or 4 each morning, i may have done so before now.

on saturday night i had the incredible (thank you seth) experience of attending the BSO and hearing Joshua Bell perform on the violin, along with Holst's The planets. what amazing talent exists in the world! it was truly awesome!!!

i love the symphony for so many reasons; the music, the atmosphere, the generally high class people attending, the fact that symphony hall lighting makes everyone look beautiful, etc. etc. etc. i also love the fact that for 2 1/2 hours i get to sit there and have my thoughts accompanied by beautiful music. on this particular night, my thoughts drifted to many of my experiences in boston that have really summed up my overall experience over the last 7 months, and i realized that each thing i was thinking about was a personal experience i have had with some of my friends. i wanted to briefly share, mostly for the benefit of my remembrance, but also because i think you all should know what i hold dear to my heart:

kylee: the time we hung out together in your room all evening. you shared your story and your feelings about your brother, among many other things. we laughed a lot, we cried a little. i've never seen you more real.

seth: not long ago you came over to my house at about midnight. not an uncommon occurrence, i know, but that night you had come to comfort me in my sadness. we laid on my bed and chatted, quoted arrested development of course, laughed too loudly to the point that carri had to come in and remind us that is was 2 am. then we bonded over some of our struggles and a particular goal we both had made for january, 2007. it was exactly what i needed that night.

marie: oh, too many to even number!! let's see...the T ride post following "jen" to crate and barrel was a good one, or our weekend spent in cape cod where my mom liked you more than me...or maybe it has been the countless nights we've talked and laughed or cried until 3, 4, even 5 in the morning. or maybe it's the fact that "we... finish...e...each..others... sen...sentences." i love you girl!

tim: once in march, and once in november; two different gloriously sunny days where we spent time on two different bridges. i feel like i knew you better in those hours than most others that we've spent together. even the silent moments were telling. i'll never forget your reply to my question, "what is your favorite thing about boston?"...

preston: a few weeks ago we were in the car driving from **secret** location, and you told me again and again how in love you are with marie. the way you described how you feel about her, and the sincerity with which you did it, is exactly the way that i would have described how i want someone to feel about her. keep it up, and you just might deserve her some day. ;)

peggy: our "post thanksgiving, pre-jane austen marathon run to ghetto target to find yarn, but ended up finding that fabulous jacket instead" trip. i know you shared some really personal stuff with me that day and i with you, and we instantly bonded to the point where i went out and bought us a broken heart friendship necklace. see me for your half.

rachel: "i luhv ya". lying on your bed that one night with peggy and somehow eating that cake into a heart shape. we share an obsession with shoes, bags, and black clothing (although you win out by a long shot). and don't let it go unmentioned that you gave me the best haircut of my life, and facilitated illegal underground activities for me with the estetician. i heart rachel.

colleen: i remember you're first sunday at church in your hot pink skirt. hot!! that's when i knew we should be friends. then there was our first VTing appointment at the boston common and the more you talked the more i thought, "when i grow up i want to be just like colleen!" you freaking rock this temporarily carb-less world!

jared: i believe you referred to it as "transcendental"; that one time we sat down in your front room and played hallelujah all the way through without a mistake. we just sat in the echo of those beautiful harmonics and all we could do was look at each other and nod in approval. here's to many more.

anyway, thanks to all of you for the wonderful times. now i must go book a flight.

5...4...3...2...1...1...2...3...4...happy new year!

it's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life...

it's a new year. it's funny to me how much pressure is put on the day after december 31st, when in actuality it's no different than the day before or the day after. somehow, we decide that january 1st starts a new life for us. well not me, i've decided that january 4th starts my new life... so take that new years!

today i finished one of the most life altering books i've ever read. the book is The Peacegiver by James Ferrell, and from it i've adopted a new mantra for my life, which is:

Entitled to nothing and grateful for everything

one of the main points in the book is that we all believe that as human beings we are entitled to certain blessings in life, especially if we live a certain way, or put up with certain hardships or trials. the truth is that because we are naturally sinful people, none of us, regardless of how we live, is entitled to anything but hell and that it is because of the mercy of our Savior Jesus Christ that we receive any blessings at all. therefore, i wish to live my life being truly grateful for all that i receive, as i know that all that is good comes from God.

if you're not yet sold on this book, let me just share with you one of the most profound passages i read:

"...our appreciation for what Christ did for us will fall abysmally short if we think that he fell on his face merely at the prospect of suffering for a few mortal hours, however excruciating that suffering might be. Both in impact, kind, and degree, what happens in Gethsemane cannot be marked merely by the clock of this fallen realm. Indeed, it's impact could be felt from the days of Adam and Eve, even though by the reckoning of this earth it hadn't yet happened. The atonement happened as much outside this time as within it, though what was outside we cannot hope to grasp. It was and is an infinite and eternal act, unbounded by the limitations of mortality. No wonder the Savior trembled at the thought of it, and 'would that he might not drink the bitter cup.' Mortal minds, with their earth-bound limitations, cannot comprehend the immensity of it."

i'm telling you- get it, read it, borrow it from me if you want.

anyway, additionally, as is tradition with new years, i have made some other resolutions for myself. i've decided this year to focus my goals solely on my relationships and on my spiritual progression. and most importantly, i have a goal to stick with my goals! i don't think i've resolved to do anything that should be too difficult, but if i can stick to them, my life will truly be changed. by small and simple things, shall great things come to pass.

finally, on a more temporal level, i've also decided that i need to allow myself more freedoms, especially where work is concerned. i've decided that it's okay for me to sleep right up to 8:30 or even 9:00 before i roll out of bed and turn on my computer. it's also okay that i don't shower or get dressed most days until after 2:00. it's okay to cut out of work an hour early ever once in a while to catch a matinee movie, or to take a little longer at lunch and then work a little longer afterward (or not). what is not okay is to fail to accomplish the things i need to at work, to fall short of my goals and quotas, or to let people down. as long as i can keep a healthy balance i'll be happy. in life in general i also want to allow myself more freedoms, like not feeling that an entire saturday spent watching movies is a waste, not feeling like a loser for staying home alone on a weekend night, being able to go to bed at 8:30 sometimes, or staying out until 3 AM on work nights and not feeling bad for either. i'm going to stop feeling bad when i start 3 books at once and don't end up finishing any of them (even if they are a "must read"). i'll stop feeling bad for not watching the news or reading newspapers. more often i want to allow myself the time to play my guitar and piano, hang out with my sister, talk to my non-boston dwelling friends and family, and cook meals made of real food. most definitely i will be enjoying more movies, more days at the beach in the summer, more road trips, more laughter, more time with my grandma in ohio, more success at work, more friends, more service, more missionary work, and most of all more chocolate!!!

it's interesting when you start to focus on all that you can do, rather than all that you can't do, how much easier it is to make lasting changes. i'd love to hear from everyone what they've decided they CAN do this year. if you haven't already blogged it, feel free to leave it as a comment.

loves to all. this is going to be an AWESOME year.