5...4...3...2...1...1...2...3...4...happy new year!

it's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life...

it's a new year. it's funny to me how much pressure is put on the day after december 31st, when in actuality it's no different than the day before or the day after. somehow, we decide that january 1st starts a new life for us. well not me, i've decided that january 4th starts my new life... so take that new years!

today i finished one of the most life altering books i've ever read. the book is The Peacegiver by James Ferrell, and from it i've adopted a new mantra for my life, which is:

Entitled to nothing and grateful for everything

one of the main points in the book is that we all believe that as human beings we are entitled to certain blessings in life, especially if we live a certain way, or put up with certain hardships or trials. the truth is that because we are naturally sinful people, none of us, regardless of how we live, is entitled to anything but hell and that it is because of the mercy of our Savior Jesus Christ that we receive any blessings at all. therefore, i wish to live my life being truly grateful for all that i receive, as i know that all that is good comes from God.

if you're not yet sold on this book, let me just share with you one of the most profound passages i read:

"...our appreciation for what Christ did for us will fall abysmally short if we think that he fell on his face merely at the prospect of suffering for a few mortal hours, however excruciating that suffering might be. Both in impact, kind, and degree, what happens in Gethsemane cannot be marked merely by the clock of this fallen realm. Indeed, it's impact could be felt from the days of Adam and Eve, even though by the reckoning of this earth it hadn't yet happened. The atonement happened as much outside this time as within it, though what was outside we cannot hope to grasp. It was and is an infinite and eternal act, unbounded by the limitations of mortality. No wonder the Savior trembled at the thought of it, and 'would that he might not drink the bitter cup.' Mortal minds, with their earth-bound limitations, cannot comprehend the immensity of it."

i'm telling you- get it, read it, borrow it from me if you want.

anyway, additionally, as is tradition with new years, i have made some other resolutions for myself. i've decided this year to focus my goals solely on my relationships and on my spiritual progression. and most importantly, i have a goal to stick with my goals! i don't think i've resolved to do anything that should be too difficult, but if i can stick to them, my life will truly be changed. by small and simple things, shall great things come to pass.

finally, on a more temporal level, i've also decided that i need to allow myself more freedoms, especially where work is concerned. i've decided that it's okay for me to sleep right up to 8:30 or even 9:00 before i roll out of bed and turn on my computer. it's also okay that i don't shower or get dressed most days until after 2:00. it's okay to cut out of work an hour early ever once in a while to catch a matinee movie, or to take a little longer at lunch and then work a little longer afterward (or not). what is not okay is to fail to accomplish the things i need to at work, to fall short of my goals and quotas, or to let people down. as long as i can keep a healthy balance i'll be happy. in life in general i also want to allow myself more freedoms, like not feeling that an entire saturday spent watching movies is a waste, not feeling like a loser for staying home alone on a weekend night, being able to go to bed at 8:30 sometimes, or staying out until 3 AM on work nights and not feeling bad for either. i'm going to stop feeling bad when i start 3 books at once and don't end up finishing any of them (even if they are a "must read"). i'll stop feeling bad for not watching the news or reading newspapers. more often i want to allow myself the time to play my guitar and piano, hang out with my sister, talk to my non-boston dwelling friends and family, and cook meals made of real food. most definitely i will be enjoying more movies, more days at the beach in the summer, more road trips, more laughter, more time with my grandma in ohio, more success at work, more friends, more service, more missionary work, and most of all more chocolate!!!

it's interesting when you start to focus on all that you can do, rather than all that you can't do, how much easier it is to make lasting changes. i'd love to hear from everyone what they've decided they CAN do this year. if you haven't already blogged it, feel free to leave it as a comment.

loves to all. this is going to be an AWESOME year.